On Unfaithful Wings
“I stared at the building, feeling like I could stare through those walls and back in time at the five-year-old me standing in the pose of the cross.My arms quivered but I fought back the urge to cry. Crying wouldn’t make it any easier.But what did I do?Had the Father seen me touch my thing again? Did I forget to put a toy away? He didn’t tell me, only dragged me out of my room and brought me here, made me stand like this with no explanation.“Hold your arms steady,” he said, the sound of his voice startling me. “If you love God, you won’t let them shake.”I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on my arms to show God my love through not moving. They stopped quaking for a second, but then the devil returned to my limbs.“Steady, I said,” he snapped and my resolve sagged; my arms did the same. Breath whooshed out of my lungs in a sob.“Please, Father.” My voice quivered the way my arms had as I tried to lift them again. They wouldn’t go. “Please.”I heard him shift on the bed.
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